Title: The World Is Not Enough
Author: Meg Brown, aka GunBunnyCentral (previously Andromeda Valentine)
Feedback address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date in Calendar: 17 June 2013
Rating: PG-13 at most
Word Count: 863
Summary: "When we took Alex in, I made you a promise that I wouldn't return to my old behavior - a promise you were totally justified in extracting at the time. Part of you feels I've broken that promise."
Series/Sequel: none (yet)
Advertisement: Part of the FSAC:DD11
Author's Notes: Some time ago, I saw a prompt somewhere to the effect of 'Amanda left Division along with Nikita, and they both took Alex in.' I can no longer find the prompt, but this is a moment from the AU it started...
The world is not enough,
but it is such a perfect place to start, my love...
And if you're strong enough,
together we can take the world apart, my love...
Garbage, The World Is Not Enough
On any other night, Nikita would have found the familiar tug of the brush through her hair comforting. This night, though, there were things weighing too heavily on her mind for the ritual to have its usual effect - not even her beloved yoga had been able to steady her nerves.
The hand wielding the brush caught sight of Nikita's distraction in the vanity mirror and stilled once it reached the end of the current stroke. "So are we going to talk about what happened between Alex and myself while you were away, or are you going to keep pretending you aren't angry at me?"
Amanda's voice held no trace of rebuke - nor did her eyes when Nikita caught them via the mirror - but Nikita still flinched a little. "I'm not angry, exactly... I just..."
Nikita let out a frustrated sigh as further words failed her, but Amanda knew her well enough to continue on her behalf. "When we took Alex in, I made you a promise that I wouldn't return to my old behavior - a promise you were totally justified in extracting at the time. Part of you feels I've broken that promise."
"You didn't, though, not really," Nikita conceded, swiveling the vanity seat so that she was facing her girlfriend. "Alex told me what happened - that she made the first move, and that you let her have the lead the whole time."
Even through her worry, Nikita couldn't help cracking a tiny smile. "You should have heard her talking about it."
"Given the enthusiastic welcome she gave you, I'm surprised she did much talking at all," Amanda teased, allowed herself the briefest of smirks as her eyes twinkled with amusement. "You're lucky I'm not a terribly jealous person, at least where Alex is concerned."
That was, in fact, something Nikita was immensely grateful for. It had taken time and a lot of hard work for her and Amanda to form the stable, healthy relationship they had now, given their past history - Nikita had been terrified it would all go to hell again when she'd realized that her feelings for Alex had gone well beyond friendship, but everyone had been surprisingly willing to share.
Nikita had just never really expected that Amanda and Alex would have any real interest in sharing each other, though she'd acknowledged it as a possibility - given Amanda's past history with young female recruits around Alex's age before they'd escaped Division, the idea was a little unsettling. Being blindsided by the reality of it after returning from a rough mission certainly wasn't helping.
Which was probably the whole problem, Nikita suddenly realized. "I guess I just feel a little blindsided. I never realized you two were interested in each other that way."
"I don't really think we are," Amanda mused. "I think it was just a random combination of her curiosity and our mutual anxiety over you being out in the field alone - I doubt either of us intends to make a habit of it."
The amused glint returned to Amanda's eyes, even as she allowed herself a rare moment of sentimentality, taking Nikita's hands in her own. "Alex and I both already have what we need, Nikita, and we have no problem at all with you caring for both of us."
Nikita squeezed Amanda's hand, acknowledging the honesty she knew Amanda found difficult. "I know. I'm not sure why I let what happened bother me so much - I don't own either of you, and I don't really have any right to be jealous."
"Well, don't let your jealousy-" Amanda stopped, then rolled her eyes at Nikita's expression before correcting herself. "Fine, your protectiveness, blind you to the true importance of Alex's actions."
Nikita just blinked at her in confusion, but Amanda was already elaborating. "Alex chose to initiate sex with someone other than you, simply because she was curious and in need of comfort. It's a very important step in her healing process - one even I wasn't aware she had reached."
For all her over-thinking on the subject, Nikita hadn't even considered that angle, and the emotional impact of it caught her just as off guard as everything else had - her hand flew to her mouth even as her eyes started to sting a little. "She's growing up..."
"She is," Amanda agreed, just as moved despite being better able to hide it. "And she reminds me more of you every day."
A soft knock at the door cut off Nikita's response, as Amanda responded to it instead. "Come in, Alexandra."
The door opened and Alex poked her head through, all anxious eyes and tousled hair that made her look far younger than her 19 years. "You guys aren't fighting because of me, are you? 'Cause I totally started the whole thing..."
Nikita, holding out a hand for Alex to come join them, caught Amanda's involuntary, and familiar, twitch of annoyance at Alex's diction, and knew things would be just fine. Their bizarre little family was all tangled up on a scale that Jerry Springer would envy, but it was happy, and healthy, and suited them all perfectly...