Title: Honestly and Openly
Author: A. Magiluna Stormwriter
Feedback address: stormwriter@shatterstorm.net
Date in Calendar: 14 June 2008
Fandom: The West Wing
Pairing: CJ/Ainsley
Rating: NC17
Word Count: 2407
Written for: AJ's Lusty Month of May 2008
Recipient: celievamp
Prompt: babble mode
Written for: majoritython
Prompt: "She dealt her pretty words like Blades" [poem] & "Man-Size" by PJ Harvey [lyrics]
Summary: You're finally living your life honestly and openly. There are no more lies to live behind.
Series: Get What You Need
Sequel: Takes place directly after "PDA"
Spoilers: post-series
Warning: Established lesbian couple. Don't like it? Don't read it.
Advertisement: Part of the FSAC:DD08

Disclaimer: “The West Wing”, the characters and situations depicted are the property of Warner Bros. Television, John Wells Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This site is in no way affiliated with "The West Wing", NBC, or any representatives of Allison Janney or Emily Procter. This site contains stories between two mature, consenting adult females.

Author's Note: I couldn't help but continue on with the whole concept of CJ outing herself for Ainsley. Plus? I've never written smut for these two women yet. How sad is that? I took the first line of the poem, which is the same as the title, and the line "Got my girl and she's a wow" from the PJ Harvey song as my inspiration for the ficathon. And then there was celievamp's great prompt, too. *hee*

Dedication: My muses, as usual…

Beta: shatterpath, as usual

"Honestly and Openly"
by A. Magiluna Stormwriter


What in the hell was I thinking today? I just came out to a bunch of stodgy old Republicans. And I knew the speech was being recorded for the local news. For God's sake, this is President Santos' home state! Seriously, Claudia Jean, what in the hell were you thinking?

The soft sound of a throat being cleared brings me back to the present, and I find myself swimming in the mossy green depths of Ainsley's eyes. And that's when I remember what I was thinking when I threw myself out of the closet. There is nothing I wouldn't do for this woman.

"Penny for them?" she asks softly.

"Just thinking, I suppose," I reply just as softly, reaching for her hand as she settles on the couch next to me. "Today was a pretty big day."

"The speech went quite well. I think you may well have gotten those men to rethink their desire to build that office complex." She smirks then, a twinkle in her eyes. "Well, that might be a bit optimistic, but they certainly paused in their plans today."

"You think?" I snort, and take a long pull of the beer I've been nursing before continuing sarcastically. "Thank you, Josh, for that stunning bit of obvious insight."

Her smirk grows broader as she snatches the bottle out of my hand to swallow a mouthful of the now-warm alcohol. My eyes are riveted to the way her throat constricts and relaxes. My god, but she's a beautiful woman, the most beautiful I've seen in my life. And I'm luckier than I ever thought possible that she's stuck with me through so much these past four years we've been together. I was stupid to think that keeping our relationship a secret was the best thing for us. No, I wasn't just stupid. I was selfish and pigheaded and should have been single for a long time now.

"No, I wouldn't leave you over that." When I glance up into her eyes again, there's pain mingled with the amusement. "Yes, CJ, you were talking out loud. And here I thought I was the one that got into babbling ramble mode all the time." Ainsley chuckles softly and leans in closer then, lips just brushing against my ear as she murmurs, "Babbling isn't as bad as it sounds either, you know. You reduce me to babbling on a regular basis with that incredibly talented tongue of yours. Or have you forgotten already?"

I shiver at the very husky tone of her voice, and thank God once more for bringing this incredible woman into my life. This, of course, is quickly followed by the guilt and regret over taking so long to be honest to the world about my consuming love for one Ainsley Hayes. But before I can do more than smile in response to her question, my phone starts to ring. I want to ignore it, but know I can't. Ainsley pulls it off the clip, a smirk quirking the corner of her mouth.

"It's Josh."

Oh hell. If Josh Lyman is calling me before either of the Bartlets involved in the Safe Haven bill, it can't be good. The video must have made the national feeds by now. I'm sure I'll be getting quite a few phone calls now. Taking a deep breath, I take the phone and answer the call.

"Hi, Josh," I say far more brightly than I feel at the moment, and take solace in the hand Ainsley's intertwined with mine for support.

"What the hell were you thinking? God, CJ, did you lose your damned mind? Why in the hell would you even think about announcing you're a lesbian to a bunch of crotchety old Republicans in Dallas, Texas, of all places? Did Ainsley put you up to this?"

I can't help but start laughing at his freaking out. I can see him pacing in his office, practically pulling what's left of his hair out with one hand. I repeat his name several times, but he's totally wound up in his rant and doesn't hear me until I practically shout it at him.

"Ainsley most certainly did not put me up to this," I say when I know I've got the bulk of his attention again. I bite back the inelegant snort as Ainsley sticks her tongue out at the phone. "But I don't regret doing it. Annabeth can put the proper spin on this, I have faith in her abilities."

"That's beside the point, CJ, and you know it!" He sighs explosively. "You couldn't have called or shot an email my way to warn me? Give me just a little bit of a heads up? Professional courtesy? Hell, personal courtesy?"

"If I'd known I was going to do it, you'd have been one of the first people I call--"

"One of the first people?"

"Okay, Joshua, the first person I called. After Ainsley, of course, because she does trump you. But seriously? It just came out. No pun intended."

"You couldn't have done this two weeks ago?"

I roll my eyes, making Ainsley giggle. "Josh, do you realize just how fucking clichéd it would have been if I'd come out when I'd made my speech to GLAAD? And if you even try to fight me on this, I'll find that keyboard and shove so far up your ass..."

"No! It's okay. I'm good on not having keyboards up my ass." There's a slight pause, and I have to wonder if he's actually picturing that image or not. "So, CJ…"

"So, Joshua," I reply with a grin, leaning over to press a light kiss to Ainsley's lips. "You done freaking out on me yet?"

"You really okay with this?" His tone suddenly goes more sober than I expected. "I mean, this is a pretty big step for you, especially considering how you tried to deny--"

"I was stupid and didn't have a good reason to be honest back then," I reply just as soberly. The look on Ainsley's face is supportive and understanding. While my next words are said to Josh, they're intended for my partner. "I've been reminded of my own mortality, Josh, and I don't want to meet Jed or Leo in the afterlife with this lie of omission on my conscience. I love her more than anything, you know that. And it was time I shed this last mask and live my life honestly and openly."

"Yeah, I--"

"Josh?" Ainsley says, taking the phone from me, an intense look turning her eyes even greener than normal. "Hi. CJ's gonna have to call you back later. Bye." And then she turns off the phone and tosses it onto the chair.

I quirk my eyebrow, but don't shy from her gaze. "Got something in mind, honey?" I rasp out, throat suddenly dry with anticipation.

She doesn't say anything, just stands up and tugs me to my feet before leading me into the bedroom of our suite. Once in the bedroom, she slowly peels off each layer of my clothing, baring me both physically and emotionally to the inferno that I know is her passion. Her eyes never leave mine, but her hands move steadily to relieve me of the last bits of my armor, and I'm helpless to stop her. Each piece of clothing is meticulously folded and set aside, right down to bra and panties.

Ainsley's eyes rake up and down my body, and I can feel the heat of her gaze like a physical touch. My stomach clenches in needy response, and I know I've just gotten soaking wet far faster than I ever have with any lover before her. Just that realization makes me moan softly, but I can't move, pinned under the strength of her desire. Right now, all she'll have to do is touch me once and I'll be reduced to a quivering pool of nerves and arousal.

Silently, she leads me to the bed, making sure I'm seated before she steps back and removes her own clothes in the same manner that she removed mine. Despite my desperate hunger for her right now, I grin at her obsessive desire to fold and put away our clothing. It isn't until she's folding her bra that I see her hands are shaking, a sure sign that she's just as aroused as I am. We're going to be lucky if we don't set the bedding on fire tonight.

Ainsley comes back toward me and I automatically spread my legs to let her stand between them. The scent of my arousal hits me like a brick wall, and the flaring of Ainsley's nostrils is evidence she can smell it, too. She leans in to press her lips to mine, and I instantly seek entrance to her mouth, tongue twining with hers in a dominance battle that we'll both win in the end. Her hands move to cup my face, but I'm unable to move, knuckles cracking as I tightly fist the duvet for balance.

She pulls back from the kiss to stare at me, fingers stroking and tracing the contours of my face as if she's memorizing them. The sight of her eyes gone dark with need sends a shiver down my spine, and I can almost swear there's green lightning arcing from the thin outline of iris into her pupils. Her fingers move down my body, mapping out the length of me, teasing my already painfully stiff nipples. The only warning I get of what she's about to do is the none too gentle tug on the arousal-matted curls between my legs.

Ainsley's instantly on her knees, spreading my legs even further as her tongue practically shovels my arousal into her mouth. And she's not even touching where I need her to yet. The soft grunts and growls emanating from between my thighs is sexier than I could ever imagine. And when her tongue finally slides into the slick folds, I shudder and toss my head back, moaning her name on a long exhale. Her nose bumps against the hard little nerve bundle and I nearly leap off the bed. This shakes off the temporary paralysis and the fingers of my right hand tangle in her long blonde mane. I don't want her to go anywhere until we're both satisfied.

Ainsley's tongue works its magic, her hands massaging the tense muscles in my thighs. Feeling her nibble along my nether lips sends a series of jolts up my spine, but my synapses aren't burned out until her lips wrap around my clitoris. She's humming and I can feel my blood pounding in time to the damned song which sounds vaguely familiar, but the lack of higher brain function precludes me actually recognizing it.

And then the arousal overwhelms me as all my nerves appear to be residing in that little knot just within Ainsley's lips…and firing at once. A white hot fire licks up and down my entire body, and I can feel myself spasming out of control until the darkness consumes me.

Some indeterminate time later, I blink groggily back into existence to hear a strange, strangled sobbing. Moving slowly up onto my elbows, I can see Ainsley curled in a ball next to me, shaking like a junkie in need of a fix. She looks in pain, and there are tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Ainsley? Honey, what's wrong?" I murmur hoarsely and move to pull her close, hissing out a moan at the sizzle of sensation along my nerves. She shakes her head, but molds her body along mine anyway. Her face is buried in the crook of my neck, lips pressing lightly against the artery still throbbing there. "Come on, honey, talk to me."

And then I realize she's straddling my thigh…and quite wet herself. With a grin, I nuzzle at her temple and ease her onto her back, murmuring softly. Another kiss has her arching up against me like a wanton hussy until she's nearly beside herself with nonsense babbling as my kisses continue down her sweat-sheened body. There's no need in me surprising her with what I want to do; her orgasm will hit her just as hard whether she knows or not. Besides, didn't she mention my wickedly talented tongue earlier?

In no time at all, my tongue is happily tormenting her clitoris trapped between my teeth, two fingers curling within her to stroke against her G-spot. And when she cries out my name as her body snaps under the onslaught with a flag caught in a stiff wind, I don't let up. Shifting down, I slip my tongue between her lower lips like I'm going to actually find her tongue down there.

Without letting Ainsley catch her breath, I shift my long legs to scissor with hers, bringing our clitorises in direct contact, and begin to rub lewdly against her. Taking advantage of my greater stature, I lean over to kiss her again and enjoy her groan of desire when she tastes herself on my tongue. Faster than I care for, I can feel my arousal surging. And judging by the string of obscenities pouring out of her mouth, Ainsley's in the same boat as me. I can't help but feel smug at her utter lack of control; being reduced to such vulgarity is a rarity indeed for my dear lover.

Cresting into our orgasms nearly in perfect sync, I hold Ainsley closer and cry my love for her into another kiss. It takes several moments for us to calm down enough to speak again, and I shift again to stretch out next to her, hands gently stroking.

"I don't think I've ever had that strong of an orgasm in my entire life. I've no idea where that came from."

"Yes, you do," she says with an impish grin. "You said it to Josh on the phone. You're finally living your life honestly and openly. There are no more lies to live behind."

"I love you, Ainsley," I murmur happily, feeling the lethargy of sleep blurring the edges of my awareness.

"I love you, too, CJ," she replies, nuzzling at my neck again. "But can we talk more in the morning? Right now, I'd like nothing more than to pass out and sleep until noon."

"I like that idea," I chuckle and pull the corner of the duvet up over our bodies. "Sweet dreams, my sweet."