Title: Deadly Sins, The Fun Way
Author: atfm
Feedback address: athousandfckingmiles@yahoo.de
Date in Calendar: 20 June 2007
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Sara/Sofia
Rating: 15
Summary: Who says sins are a bad thing?
Advertisement: Part of the FSAC:DD07

Disclaimer: CSI and all its characters are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS.

Author's Note: Thanks to Ann for the beta.

Author’s Note 2: This is a work of fiction and has been written purely for entertainment purposes. It does in no way mock the concept of deadly sins. I respect all religions and don’t wish to offend anyone’s religious feelings.

Ira (Wrath)

“Come on, you sorry excuse of modern technology!” Sofia bellowed and kicked the vending machine. It merely clicked mockingly and shut down its digital display with a feeble beep. The detective slammed her palms on the glass front and peered longingly at the neatly arranged variety of sandwiches lining the shelves inside the machine.

“Are you trying to stare it down?” an amused Sara asked. “Here I come, all the way to the precinct, to let you know the prints came back to our suspect, and what do I see? You, abusing city property in the worst possible manner. If the press gets wind of this, it won’t cast a very positive light on law enforcement.” She smirked.

“You should see her with perps. They’re crying for their mommies when she’s done with them,” Brass supplied in passing.

Sofia gaped after him, and then narrowed her eyes when he grinned back at her over his shoulder. She refocused her attention back on Sara. “I never…I wouldn’t…I didn’t know you were watching me,” she mumbled sheepishly, slightly slumping her shoulders.

The investigator raised an eyebrow. “Are you telling me that passionately cursing at an inanimate object in the middle of the department, observed by bored paper pushers,” she pointed at a small group of women giggling behind a glass wall, “doesn’t embarrass you if I don’t witness it?”

The blonde folded her arms across her chest. “Well, it refused to feed me. And, it ate my three dollars.” She turned to the culprit once more. “You ate my three dollars. I want my three dollars back,” Sofia growled and took a threatening step towards the machine but seemed to change her mind as she looked back at Sara. “I’m starving. You know how insufferable I become when I’m hungry. I need to eat. All I’m asking for is to eat a sandwich. Is that so much to ask?”

“I could think of something else you might like to eat,” Sara quipped with an innocent smile.

Sofia stared at her dumbly. Then her face lit up. “Now?”

“Yes, we could go to our secret love nest behind the magic golden door in lovey-dovey land and get it on.” Sofia grinned broadly until Sara uttered her next words. “Of course, not now. But the prospect of it should get you through the day just fine without the benefit of a sandwich.”

The other woman groaned. “Whatever makes you think being hungry and horny qualifies as getting through a day just fine?”

Sara grinned and made for the door, leaving a slightly frustrated Sofia behind.

Gula (Gluttony)

“You’re gonna eat all of that?” Sofia looked incredulously at Sara, who’d just returned from the buffet balancing a plate with piles of food in one hand and numerous slices of bread in the other. She set her scrumptious looking prey on the table before plunking onto her chair and taking in the offerings in front of her with a satisfied smile, contemplating which culinary delight to devour first.

“If I’m gonna spend the evening at a banquet honouring Ecklie’s achievements – which we both know are really our achievements – and have to listen to speeches of praise that make me want to gag, bang my head on the wall, or poke my eyes out, I might as well indulge in the only thing that makes coming here worthwhile,” Sara explained with a shrug. “Since I can’t get wasted, I’ll eat. They’ll be sorry they invited me.”

Sofia shook her head and chuckled, abstaining from any further comment and later stopping the dessert count at six.

* * *

“Oh dear God, why didn’t you stop me?” Sara groaned and shifted uncomfortably on the couch on which she’d gracelessly plopped down upon returning home.

“I didn’t think you’d last through the night without jumping in Ecklie’s face if the food didn’t keep you occupied,” Sofia lightly teased as she took a seat next to the brunette, careful not to make the cushions move. “You know, you kind of deserve these after-effects. That was way, way too much chocolate pudding.”

“Not helping,” Sara murmured, sliding down the couch a little, resting her head against the back of it, and closing her eyes. “I feel sick.”

Sofia reached out and gently brushed a strand of hair from Sara’s sweaty face to tuck it behind her ear, using the opportunity to take in the other woman’s features. She smiled. “Come on, let’s get you to bed. Some rest will do wonders; in the morning, your stomach will be fit again and ready for breakfast.”

Sara’s eyes popped open. “Don’t speak of food, woman!” she complained, pitifully.

Sofia didn’t try to hide her mirth and laughed. She grasped the other woman’s hand and tugged on it slightly. “That was too easy. Come on. Bedtime.”

Acedia (Sloth)

When Sofia strode into the lab in the hope of receiving results that would advance the case she was working on, she was confused. Sara sat idly at the large examination table, her gloved hands resting on the shiny surface, her face calm in the soft bluish glow of the lamp. “Hey you,” she greeted the detective in a friendly but noncommittal tone.

It was a strange sight for Sofia to see the workaholic investigator not engaged in one or the other activity of searching for evidence. “Hey…did you find anything relevant for the Hindman case?” the blonde asked carefully, slightly distracted by Sara’s unusual air of serenity.

“The stained blanket?”


“I haven’t examined it yet,” Sara supplied, watching closely for Sofia’s reaction.

The other woman furrowed her brow. “Why not? Haven’t you gotten to it yet? This is the only case you’re working, right? Sara, we’re basically clutching at straws with this blanket, so we really need to get something out of it.”

The brunette shrugged. “I really couldn’t be bothered,” she said nonchalantly. “I’m feeling a little lazy today.”

Sofia blinked. “You…were feeling lazy and…that’s why you haven’t checked out the evidence?” she repeated slowly. Who was this woman, and what had she done with Sara Sidle?

“Yup,” the investigator confirmed as if this were something not completely out of character for her.

“How are we gonna make any progress in the case if the evidence is not being processed? What the hell is wrong with you today?” The detective was torn between being completely speechless and annoyed with Sara’s odd behaviour.

“Hey guys…or girls,” came the greeting from the door as Wendy entered the lab. “Sara, I got your Hindman results. The stains are indeed semen and a match for your suspect. You can nail the bastard,” the DNA tech said, glancing down at the open folder she was holding, then snapping it shut and handing it to the investigator. “Gotta run, see you later,” she added and, with a quick nod to the other two women, she scurried out of the room.

Sofia watched her leave, and then turned back to Sara, who looked up at her innocently, the corners of her mouth twitching. The blonde scowled. “You’re impossible.”

Sara grinned contentedly. “I can’t believe you fell for it. You should really know me better than that.”

In spite of herself, Sofia smiled. “You’re enjoying this way too much. Watch out, payback’s a bitch,” she threatened playfully.

Sara smirked. “Can’t wait to see what you come up with, detective.”

Superbia (Pride)

“Sidle…oh hey, Doc, thanks for getting back to me so quickly, you got my message then?…………….She’s got a bit of a temperature, yeah, and the itchy rash, too…………yeah, I thought so……..I doubt she’ll agree to it, but I’ll try to convince her…….thanks, Doc.”

Sara snapped her cell phone shut, returned to the den where Sofia was resting on the couch with her eyes closed, and knelt down next to her, gently running her fingers through the blonde’s hair to alert her to her presence. Blue eyes reluctantly opened and looked at Sara groggily.

“Doc Robbins says there’s no doubt you’ve got the chicken pox,” Sara stated with a look of slight amusement evident on her face.

Sofia grimaced. “You called Doc Robbins?”

“Yes, why not?”

“He’s a coroner, Sara. I’m not dead yet, even though I might wish I was if this itch doesn’t go away soon.”

“Still a doctor,” Sara defended herself. “He also thought it might be a good idea if you paid your doctor a visit.”

“There’s no way in hell I’m seeing my doctor about this,” Sofia protested vehemently. “I’ve faced the barrel of a gun without turning a hair, I’m certainly not letting a children’s disease bring me down. This is ridiculous. Nuh-uh.”

Sara bit her her lower lip to keep from grinning. “Don’t you think a balm to relieve the itch might be helpful? You’d feel a lot better.”

The blonde shook her head defiantly. “No. I can get through this. If Sofia Curtis comes down with the chicken pox in her thirties, then so be it.”

Now, Sara couldn’t help but chuckle. “Okay, you badass detective, but Doc said you need plenty of rest. How’d you manage to contract it anyway?”

“Suspect’s kid two weeks ago must have given it to me. For some reason, he was really attached to me,” Sofia grumbled, scratching her left arm furiously.

“Can’t blame him,” the brunette smiled and closed her fingers around the other woman’s wrist to still her hand. “Don’t do that.” Then she added softly, “I’ll be here to take care of you. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried,” Sofia murmured sleepily. “Never am when you’re with me.”

Invidia (Envy)

“Sometimes I wish I was a detective like you.”


Sara stopped stirring the tomato sauce and lifted the long wooden spoon out of the saucepan to turn around to and face Sofia. “Yes,” she explained, “there are a few aspects of your job that I wouldn’t mind enjoying myself.”

Intrigued, the blonde set down the parmesan cheese she had been grating and looked at her companion expectantly. “Like what?”

“Well, first off, you get to go into a fresh scene before anyone else and strut, no, swagger around like you own the place.” At this, Sofia grinned and wiggled her hips. Sara continued, “Secondly? People respect you. Not like us, we’re just geeks to them. And then you get to slam those impudent perps against the wall. Bang!” Her animated talking sent tiny red droplets from the spoon flying across the kitchen.

Sofia laughed. “We’re not allowed to do that. No more physical force than absolutely necessary. You watch too much TV. Besides, the work in the lab does have its merits. On some days, I want nothing more than a little peace and quiet. It’s one thing I miss about being a CSI. You do your job, and nobody bothers you.”

“Yeah, except if you have a tight-assed Assistant Director breathing down your neck,” Sara muttered. “Plus, it’s such a quiet job that we become practically invisible. Nobody knows we’re the ones who process the evidence while you guys get all the recognition for it.”

“That’s true,” Sofia admitted, not to be provoked. “But at the same time, we also take the blame if the nerd squad messes things up. As a CSI, you don’t have to worry about those things.”

“’Nerd squad’, huh?” The investigator was mildly amused. “I get it; I’m not as cool as you with your fabulous badge.”

“You like my badge?”

“I want your badge.”

“I want your kit.”

“I want your toothpick.”

“You want my toothpick?”

“Scratch that. I want to be your toothpick.”

The detective’s face split into a naughty smile, showing off her dimples, and she took two steps towards Sara, right into her personal space. Snaking her arms around the brunette’s waist, she pulled the lanky frame closer to her own body. “You can get into my mouth any time you want. No need to be a toothpick.” Bringing her lips into contact with Sara’s, Sofia slipped her tongue into the other woman’s mouth and, after a moment, felt Sara suck on it lightly.

As they pulled apart, Sara had a dorky grin on her face. “You know,” she said, “who cares about glory and badges, really? My investigative skills have provided me with conclusive evidence of what will be, or rather who will be, for dessert after the pasta.”

Luxuria (Lust)

The phone rang incessantly, filling the room with its annoyingly monotonous sound and sliding a little closer to the edge of the nightstand with each jolt of vibration.

Sara released Sofia’s nipple from her mouth with a smacking sound and looked up at the blonde, rolling her eyes. “Will you please just answer it and tell whoever it is to fuck off because you’re getting laid?”

Sofia sighed and blindly groped for the phone to her right. Flipping it open, she brought it to her ear and growled, “Curtis,” a moment later adding in a friendlier tone, “Jim, what’s so urgent?”

Propping herself up on one elbow, the detective failed to notice the sly grin spreading on Sara’s face upon realising who the caller was. The brunette lowered her head once more to lightly swirl her tongue around the still hardened nub.

Sofia let out a surprised whimper. “No, no, it’s nothing…I…I just banged my knee into something. Can’t you ask Rugg? It’s my first night off in two weeks.” To Sara, she mouthed, ‘Stop it!’

‘Banged?’ the investigator mouthed back, momentarily raising her head and waggling her eyebrows. She then focused her attention back on Sofia’s chest, engulfing one nipple with her lips and teasing the other with her fingers.

“But this is a really bad ti– mmmmh…,” the other woman breathed into the phone. “Yes, Jim, don’t worry, I’m feeling just fi—oh, fuck, Sara!” she blurted out when the brunette sucked hard on the sensitive bundle of nerves. “No, I just realised something. What I meant was, ‘Fuck, Sara, you borrowed my car, and now I can’t go to work’ but I’ll figure something out.”

Listening to the voice at the other end of the call, Sofia emitted a restrained hiss and arched her back when Sara caught the nipple between her teeth, gently biting down on it, and simultaneously sliding her hand under the covers to lower regions.

The blonde was barely able to control her voice any longer. “Yeah, um, sure, I’ll be there. Give me…,” her voice trailed off as she glanced down at a busy Sara, who held up the thumb of her free hand. “One hour,” Sofia finished her sentence.

She shut the phone and let out a loud, liberating moan. No other sounds except those of immense pleasure were heard in the room afterwards, and when Sofia pushed through the doors of the precinct an hour later, her colleagues were surprised how relaxed and content she looked, considering she’d been called in on her night off.

Avaritia (Greed)

“Damn, look at all this good stuff.”

Sara excitedly squeezed Sofia’s hand and had a hard time tearing her gaze away from the shelves of the chocolate store, dizzied by the seemingly infinite variety of treats, the countless labels that promised delicious pleasure and the shiny transparent foil that safely enveloped the sweet gold.

Sofia inhaled deeply the scent of cocoa and sugar, letting the intense aroma flood her senses and revelling in how it elated her. She picked up a small sample from a plate on one of the counters and popped it into her mouth. “Mmh…tongue orgasm,” she murmured and licked a tiny smudge of chocolate off her thumb.

With a soft chuckle and childlike gleam in her normally stoic dark eyes, Sara began perusing the descriptions of the varieties being offered. It didn’t take her long to discover something that tickled her fancy.

“Espresso chocolate! I’ll have to get that one. Perfect for long nights – sugar rush and caffeine. What more do you need?”

“A little sleep, perhaps,” Sofia teased and smiled. The wrapper of the pack she held crackled between her fingers. “I’ll go with this one, dark chocolate with chili. Spicy is good.”

Both looked down at the single choice of chocolate in their hands, then back up at the tempting depths of the store, and then at one another, their faces splitting into grins of silent understanding.

Each of them going her separate way, they roamed the sales room for half an hour before meeting again with their hands full of treasures.

The cashier girl grinned knowingly. "It's difficult to resist, isn't it?" she asked brightly.

Peering down at the enormous amount of chocolate spread out on the counter before them, Sara surveyed their haul. "You have no idea," she said in a mock-gloomy voice.

"And it's not like we tried very hard, either," Sofia added with a smirk, her eyes never leaving the sweets, as if to make sure none of them was left behind.

Once outside the store, the detective lifted one of the paper bags up to look at it contemplatively. "You know," she said to Sara, "usually we pick snacks to go with our movie, but I think today we need to pick a movie to devour these goodies."

"Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factoy?"

"Hmm, sounds perfect to me."