Title: Save it for a rainy day
Feedback address: email@example.com
Date in Calendar: 18 June 2007
Summary: Does Sara trust Sofia enough to come clean?
Advertisement: Part of the FSAC:DD07
Disclaimer: "CSI: Crime Scene Investigators," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer Television, Alliance Atlantis, and CBS Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "CSI: Crime Scene Investigators," CBS, or any representatives of Jorja Fox or Louise Lombard.
Note: This one is dedicated to Kirds, she knows why!
Six days, seven hours, twenty-three minutes and, well, fifty-two seconds give or take. Sofia sighed as she checked her watch once again. She didn’t know what was more sad, the fact that she was afraid to approach Sara, or the fact that she was counting the time since she last spoke to the enigmatic brunette. The blonde Detective was leaning against the wall outside the Crime Lab, her arms crossed in front of her chest. She was waiting for Sara to come out of the building, but she still wasn’t sure what she was doing here. She doubted that cornering Sara would be the way to go, but she was getting desperate and didn’t have any solutions that sounded better.
Next to mysterious, enigmatic and amazingly beautiful, Sara Sidle was also incredibly stubborn. Sofia figured that if the brunette hadn’t talked to her in over six days, she wouldn’t suddenly start now. But she couldn’t help but give it a try. They had been together for five months and she refused to just let Sara go like that over something as silly as what happened between them.
Sofia was angry, no, furious out of pure frustration. They had been dating for five months now and she still knew nothing about Sara, the brunette still hadn’t let her in at all. The nightmares, the sudden changes in her mood, Sofia had taken it all, no questions asked, figuring Sara would come clean about it later. But more and more she started realizing that there was no later. If she didn’t ask Sara about it, the brunette would never tell her.
And when she asked, it seemed all hell broke loose.
The blonde raised her voice, feeling incredibly powerless. “What do you mean, that’s private? I thought we were together, you know, together as in sharing things together, helping each other out.......caring for the other.” She deliberately used care instead of love, because she knew the l-word would scare the hell out of Sara.
The facial expression of the brunette was visibly changing from hurt to angry. That’s when Sofia first started realising she had messed up. “It has nothing to do with you, with us,” Sara hissed, the anger evident in both her look and her voice. “Stop pushing me!”
Sofia’s brow almost hit her hairline at that remark, “what? I’m not pushing you! It’s called asking! I’m just curious about you,” she sighed, this was going nowhere. “Because I care about you.”
“You are interrogating me, Sofia.” Sara said calmly, crossing her arms in front of her chest as a way to shield herself from the raging blonde.
Sofia raised her hands in defeat, this was not going to work at all. Her plan of just asking about it had failed miserably. Maybe reverse psychology would help? Although she doubted any of the techniques she had learned came in handy, Sara knew them too and it would only anger the brunette even more. “I just asked you about your childhood Sara, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Sara flashed her the “Sidle-look of death”, as Sofia liked to call it, and brushed past her into the apartment. They had been standing outside on the balcony, staring at the stars. Something they’d do whenever they got the chance with their impossible work schedules. Most of the time it was a very romantic thing they did together, but today it had ended in war.
Sofia followed Sara inside, fully intent on trying to stop the brunette, who had already fetched her overnight bag and was now searching for her coat. “Please, Sara, don’t leave.” She pleaded, hoping the brunette would listen.
But she could have known it was futile. Sara hardly ever listened and especially not when she was angry.
The CSI didn’t even reply, she didn’t even look at Sofia, afraid that the Detective would read her now she was in such a vulnerable state. She felt tears stinging in her eyes but refused to let them go, she refused to let Sofia see her cry.
Sofia just stood there, watching how Sara prepared to leave her apartment. It would be useless to try and stop her, but she couldn’t help but try. The blonde reached out and gently took hold of Sara’s arm. “Please, Sara, I’m sorry.”
Still the brunette didn’t speak, she simply jerked her arm away from Sofia’s hold and made her way to the front door.
But that was six days, seven hours, twenty-four minutes and twenty seconds ago. Sofia groaned as she was still counting the time. She was a very independent and strong woman, but Sara made her go all weak inside. And maybe she didn’t mind, but not for everyone else to see. She hated feeling weak or at someone's mercy.
When she saw Sara come out of the building, she let herself bounce off the wall, pushing herself off with her foot. The brunette seemed to be concentrated on a case file in her hand. Typical Sara, even taking her work home. It was time that changed. “Sara,” she called out, sounding less secure than she wanted to sound.
The brunette looked up and her face changed immediately. It was obvious she hadn’t been waiting for this moment, but she knew it was coming. She had thought about talking to Sofia, but she wasn’t ready yet. There were still things holding her back and the last thing she wanted was Sofia interrogating her again. It wasn't that she didn't want to confide in Sofia, she just felt it wasn't the right time yet.
“What are you doing here, Sofia?” She asked, full well knowing what the blonde was doing here.
“I think you know that.” Came the short answer. Sofia didn’t want to play games, she was tired of it and wanted some straight forward answers.
“Sofia,” Sara sighed, “not now, I’m tired.”
“How long do I need to wait Sara? It’s been six days.” Sofia sighed and put her hand on Sara’s arm, just like she did six days ago. “We don’t have to talk.” Sofia wasn’t really the sensitive type, but she had to admit herself that she missed having Sara around.
Sofia didn’t know what made Sara decide to give in, but her heart skipped a beat when she saw the brunette nod. She wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking, but she could have sworn she saw the brunette’s lips curl up into a smirk.
When they arrived at Sara’s apartment, they didn’t do much talking indeed. Sara entered her home first and Sofia closed the door behind them. And as soon as she did, she realised that Sara had missed her too apparently. She didn’t even get the chance to take her jacket off, Sara’s lips had immediately attached themselves to hers. Not that she minded of course.
The kiss was passionate and Sofia couldn’t help but groan as Sara pressed her body into hers. When the brunette started to tug on her blouse, she stopped her.
“Whoa, Sara, wait.” God, she hated that her conscience had to speak up now. Why did she have to stop the brunette mid kiss?
Sara stared at Sofia, still slightly panting from their short lived, heavy duty kiss. There was a flash of hurt passing through her eyes and she looked at Sofia as if she wanted to say ‘what?’.
“I know I said that we didn’t have to talk, but this is another extreme.” She sighed, it was not that she didn’t like it but deep down it felt wrong to do this now after Sara ignored her for six days. She felt they needed to talk about what happened and clear things up between them instead of groping each other and who knew what else Sara had planned.
The CSI slowly ran her hands over Sofia's arms, "please, Sofia." She needed this, she needed Sofia to love her right now. Even though it had been her who had left the Detective behind, she had been miserable without the blonde. Not that she'd ever admit that to her, but that didn't mean she didn't feel it. The time without Sofia made her realise how the blonde had this effect on her. How she just had to wrap her arms around Sara to make everything at least feel ok again.
In the past few months Sofia had learned to read Sara. It had never been a hard task since the look in the brunette's eyes always gave her away, but lately she had learned to notice other things about her. And what she saw now worried her, it was a look she had never seen in the CSI's eyes, a look of desperation. Sofia wrapped her arms around Sara and held her tight for a few minutes. When she felt Sara loosen her hold, she leaned back as well.
After just staring into her eyes for a few moments, Sara closed the distance between them and kissed Sofia again. This time the blonde didn't stop her. Slowly but surely they made a way to Sara's bedroom, leaving a trail of shedded clothes behind them.
Sara had been lying awake for a long time, listening to the raindrops tick against the window. Sofia's blonde locks seemed to be everywhere and the Detective's body was sprawled out half over hers. It made Sara grin, she liked how Sofia seemed to be so protective over her. She turned her head and kissed the top of her girlfriend's head before staring at the ceiling again.
She knew she was being irrational, that her fears were irrational. Sofia only wanted to get to know her better, which was only fair considering the Detective had told her about her childhood. She remember that day very well. Sara was lying with her head in Sofia's lap and the blonde was playing with her hair as she told about her life. It had been eerily comfortable, a totally new feeling Sara was unfamiliar with.
The weather was predicted like this, rain, rain and nothing but rain, the whole day long. It actually suited Sara's mood right now, it would be good to just lie in bed with Sofia all day. She had been thinking long and hard about whether or not she should speak up. And last night, she finally made her decision. Even though she was afraid the Detective would like her less or worse, feel pitty for her, she felt she owed it to the blonde.
She knew that if she told this, it would be the next step into their relationship. To her, it would take it all to the next level and it required a great deal of trust between them. Something she felt Sofia proved to her more than once during the time they had been together. Sara's train of thought was disturbed when Sofia started stirring, a sign she was waking up. The brunette lifted her arm and let her hand go through the other woman's hair. "Good afternoon," she said before smiling at the blonde.
Sofia groaned, she was so comfortable and she didn't want to move. When she felt Sara's hand in her hair, she smiled and moved so she could kiss her girlfriend. "Now it's a good afternoon," she said, her voice still raspy from sleep. She looked outside and groaned again, "ugh, rain."
Sara just smiled. "You know..." She paused and turned her head towards Sofia's, "rain isn't always a bad thing." With her hand still in Sofia's hair, twirling her fingers around a strand of hair, she started talking. Sofia looked up at Sara, listening to the brunette intentely as she was told about the life of Sara Sidle. Not once she interrupted the brunette, she just stared at her in awe. Right now, she was even more proud of her girlfriend. She had become this amazing and incredibly strong woman, even though she didn't get the support she needed during her childhood. She didn't feel pitty for Sara, but she did make the silent promise of making sure the brunette would get the support she needed now.
When Sara finished, she looked at Sofia for the first time since she had started her story. What she found in the blonde's eyes was anything but what she expected. They were filled with love, not with the pitty or repulsion she had thought she would see. When Sofia whispered 'I love you', Sara knew it would be ok. It only confirmed her theory, rainy days weren't always bad days.