Author: Jo Raine (Celievamp)
Feedback address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date in Calendar: 10 June 2005
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Summary: The circle is neverending. You wind up at the right place eventually.
Spoilers: Episodes 2001/2010, Heroes. Set in 2005.
Advertisement: Part of the FSAC DD05
Disclaimer: The story, and characters and anything and everything else concerning Stargate are so not mine.
Note: Written for the Dog Days of Summer 2005.
Ouroboros. A tail swallowing serpent. An endless circle, unbroken, unchanging. Alpha to Omega to Alpha. Eternal.
Moebius. The circle twists back on itself, turning inside out, still unbroken but forever changing. Alpha to Omega to… what? Something wonderful and new. Or something old and well-loved, once lost but now found.
The Ring. Eternal. Unbroken.
Sam picked it up from the table, weighed it in her hand. One gold ring. A plain band. Eighteen carat.
It had been her mother’s. Yet it fit her hand as if it had been made for her. She never wore it. She had taken it out of her jewellery case today as an act of remembrance. It wasn’t the anniversary of her mother’s death. That was a few months away. This was something else. Today she, Sam, was older than her mother had been on the day she died. Her mother was killed a week short of her 41st birthday. An age that Sam would reach in six days time.
Her father had given Sam the ring after she broke off her engagement to Jonas Hansen.
“Why give me this now?” she had asked.
“Because next time you’ll choose someone who’s worthy of you, worthy for you to wear that ring.” Her father had kissed her. Sam hadn’t thought of his words for years. Then one day out of the blue it had struck her. Some one not some man. Unusually subtle for her dad.
It had taken several years and more than one false start but she had found that some one. Dr Janet Fraiser. Found her. Loved her. Lost her.
She had never worn the ring, never taken any kind of vow with Janet. Had never felt the need to. They had forever after all.
Forever had ended on P3X-666.
Sam slipped the band on her finger for a moment, studying it. It felt strange. She had never actually worn it before. She wasn’t one for jewellery normally. She didn’t wear it whilst she was in uniform, a set of simple gold earrings with her dress blues. And when she was in civvies it never seemed quite right to put it on. The ring was a powerful symbol. One she felt herself unworthy of, now more than ever. She took it off again, weighed it in her hand for a moment once more. Its time had come and gone. She would never wear it, she knew that now. Perhaps she would pass it on to Cassie one day.
She went to put it back in her jewellery box for safekeeping but somehow it fell from her hand, falling to the carpet. It seemed to happen in slow motion, the ring spinning, the circle turning…
Samantha Faxon fiddled nervously with her wedding ring. It had been almost six months since she had last seen Janet Fraiser and that last meeting had not ended well. She had been surprised to get the phone call from Janet asking it they could meet.
Things had changed so much.
Janet had only come to her wedding because Cassie was her bridesmaid. Joe had no idea about the prior relationship between his wife and the doctor but he had always been cool towards her. And Janet treat him from the first with an icy politeness.
It was her fault. Sam had treat Janet badly. They had been in a relationship of sorts for over two years when Joe Faxon had come into their lives to negotiate the treaty with the Aaschen. Everything was changing. The Aaschen openly shared their technology with Earth, welcoming them into their Federation. The Stargate was on the point of becoming public knowledge. From their first meeting Joe Faxon had made no secret of his interest in her. Sam had been flattered. More than flattered. For months she had vacillated between her two lovers until Janet had forced her hand.
“Sam, do you love me?”
“Yes, of course I do,” Sam said, reaching over, running her fingers over Janet’s thigh, the line of her hip. Janet moved away.
“Do you love him?”
“Of course Joe! Who else did you think I meant – Jack O’Neill?”
Sam chose to ignore that last remark. “It’s complicated. Joe’s a nice man. He’s… attentive, interested in me. I have to work with him, Janet. I have to be nice to him.”
“Do. You. Love. Him?”
“I don’t know!” Sam rolled over, sat up, drawing her knees up under her chin. She started to nibble on the edge of her right thumb nail and forced herself to stop knowing that Janet would pick up on the visual clue as to how nervous she was. “Maybe.”
“And if it was him asking you this question and not me? What would your answer be then, Sam?”
“What do you want me to say, Janet?”
“Well, the truth would be nice.”
“You know how it is. Our relationship is never going to be sanctioned. It could be really bad for both our careers if it came out that we were having a relationship. And… I think we should both keep our options open. Things are changing so fast, Janet.”
“Keeping our options open.” Janet was very still for a moment. Sam dared not look at her. Janet got off the bed, put on her robe, her back to Sam. At that moment, Sam knew that one set of options for her had just closed off, probably for good.
“I think you’d better go, Sam.”
“Janet, I don’t…”
“It’s okay. I agree with what you said. It’s very sensible, very pragmatic.”
“Sam – go.”
Sam reared back as if Janet had physically hit her. She had not even raised her voice but the intensity, the emotional agony contained in that one word was too much to bear. Sam had gathered up her clothes, dressed and left.
Weeks later Sam had been reassigned to the Pentagon to prepare for the public announcement of the existence of the Stargate and the reality of a populated universe and the certainty that the truth really was out there, she had started to date Ambassador Joe Faxon. Janet Fraiser was out of her life.
New job, new life, new man. Sam Carter was happy, successful, fulfilled. This was how her life was meant to be.
She twisted the ring again, caught herself making the gesture and stilled her fingers. She had got to the restaurant far too early, another bad habit.
Why was she so nervous? Janet Fraiser had been out of her life for a long time. This was just a dinner, two old friends meeting to catch up. That was all. Nothing more. It couldn’t be anything more. She was happily married after all.
The ring slipped off her finger. Startled, Sam watched it seem to fall almost in slow motion, spinning, the circle turning…
Sam snuggled into her pillow. She was too comfortable. Janet was going to have to do way better than that before she would deign to wake up.
Far too comfortable. And she was on downtime. No meetings, no missions, no doohickeys. Just her bed and her pillow.
And her girl of course. Couldn’t forget about her. She smiled as cool soft lips touched the bare skin at the top of her spine, deft fingers easing the sheet down to expose more skin.
“Hey, sleepyhead… you gonna stay there all day?”
“Brat…” she mumbled.
“Hey, no fair!” she raised her head, mock-glared at the dark haired woman. “You know how I hate stereotypes.”
“As always, you’re the exception to the rule, love,” Janet kissed her soundly. “So, are you any closer to getting out of bed? Day’s a wasting.”
“It’s only…” Sam leaned over to get a better view of the clock. “A little after eight. What’s got you so bright eyed and bushy tailed anyway?”
“The thought of spending a whole week with you.” Janet linked hands with the taller woman, their fingers entwining. Twin gold bands glistened in the morning sunlight.
“Well I feel the same way, love. But I hadn’t contemplated doing much more than staying right here.” Sam smiled as her lover’s eyes became heavy lidded. She could see that Janet was considering her options. “I mean, isn’t that supposed to be what us newlyweds do on their honeymoon. It’s almost… obligatory.”
“Well, never let it be said that I neglect my obligations,” Janet was almost purring now. Sam watched as Janet sat up, taking off her top in one smooth movement. Sam reached out, running her fingers over the lightly tanned skin that was revealed. She smiled as Janet’s breath hissed as she gently rubbed her thumbs over Janet’s plump nipples before pulling the smaller woman down to join her on the pillows.
They made love in the morning sunlight, taking it slow, kisses and touches, moving in gentle rhythm against one another, tasting, stroking, mouthing, making love, making memories. Hands clasped, fingers twined. Two circles touching.
Moebius, the circle twists. Ouroboros, the circle closed. Eternity. Two circles touching. Infinity.
That might just be long enough.