Title: Hanging By A Moment
Author: Meg Brown, aka Andromeda Valentine
Feedback address: andromeda.valentine@gmail.com
Date in Calendar: 6 June 2005
Fandom: Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
Pairing: Rommie/Beka Valentine
Rating: R, just to be safe...
Status: New; complete (6/03/05)
Series/Sequel: None for now, but I have plans for this one...
Summary: It wasn't a Master she was after. She needed a Mistress, and only one answering to Valentine would do.
Warnings: Implied BDSM.
Advertisement: Part of the FSAC DD05
Other Websites: Crimson Redd - http://www.angelfire.com/goth/crimsonredd
Archive: The FSAC DD05 site only until 7/1/05. After that, feel free to ask.
Feedback: Yes, please!!

Disclaimer: Still not mine, unfortunately - still Tribune's... I'm only borrowing 'em for my own nefarious purposes - they don't complain, believe me. Lyrics to Hanging By A Moment belong to the talented Lifehouse...

Note: Written for the FSAC DD05. Largely inspired by Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey - I wanted to do something BDSM that was also romantic, and a little more 'normal' than is usually presented. The girls insisted on the Lifehouse lyrics after I heard Hanging By A Moment playing on the radio the other night...

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Like pleasure and a little pain -
the sacred and profane.
Ice and fire counteract,
like right and wrong,
black on black...

- Heart, Black On Black II

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********************

Desperate for changing,
starving for truth...
I'm closer to where I started -
I'm chasing after you.

It stared at her every time she looked in the mirror - a tiny red speck in the iris of her left eye. A tiny red speck that had changed everything, and wasn't even close to done yet.

A wrong move in a firefight, a particular set of circuits fried despite the low odds of their being affected, and her world had been turned upside down. A slight taste for pain had become an outright hunger, and the need for a captain's command had become a yearning strong enough to bring her to knees sometimes.

But none of that had surprised her nearly as much as the realization that it wasn't a Master she was after. She needed a Mistress, and only one answering to Valentine would do.

I'm falling even more in love with you,
letting go of all I've held onto...
I'm standing here until you make me move.
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

It wasn't so much that her feelings for Beka were new - she'd been extraordinarily fond of her from the start, admiring her pluck and her self-assurance, and the feeling had only grown as they'd gotten closer.

It was Beka she turned to when confused or unhappy, or with the new joke she'd heard but not understood, or even the story of Harper's latest scrape.

It seemed at times that the blonde was the only one who had any true sense of who and what Rommie was - a warship avatar proud to be what she was, but nonetheless wanting to understand the humanity she was designed to emulate.

Forgetting all I'm lacking,
completely incomplete -
I'll take your invitation.
You take all of me, now.

Ever since the fight and its concomitant changes, Beka had been all she could think about. If she suddenly longed for the touch of a whip like most people longed for that of a lover, it was Beka she wanted holding that whip. If she dreamed of a blade held sharp against her skin, it was Beka's hand that she intended to have directing it.

There had been hints, too, and not all deliberate or conscious, that Beka would be more than amenable to anything Rommie might ask of her.

It had thrown her, at first, but she'd eventually had to accede that it wasn't a random infatuation or a passing fancy for either of them. That decided, her natural warrior's arrogance, not one bit dimmed by her newfound submissiveness, had swiftly carried her to the point of confessing her feelings.

I'm falling even more in love with you,
letting go of all I've held onto...
I'm standing here until you make me move.
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

Once she'd decided to confess her feelings and place herself in Beka's charge - after a long and frank discussion with Harper, of all people - nothing was going to keep her from it.

Still, even a warship got the equivalent of butterflies in its stomach sometimes, and hers bid fair to make her turn back and wait for later. Standing in the Maru, waiting for Beka to walk in, was far from the easiest thing she'd ever done - and may have even been one of the most frightening.

Lucky for her that that only turned her on even more.

I'm living for the only thing I know.
I'm running and I question where to go.
And I don't know what I'm tapping into,
just hanging by a moment here with you.

Beka's steps rang out overloudly in the heavy silence of the otherwise empty Maru. If Rommie had had a pulse, it would no doubt have been ringing in her ears.

She'd never paused to think beyond this moment to the idea that she'd read the whole situation wrong - if she had, she was lost.

The heart she didn't have stuck in her throat as she knelt in front of the blonde and offered her the title she'd been longing to give her.

"Mistress."

There's nothing else to lose.
There's nothing else to find.
There's nothing in the world
that can change my mind.
There is nothing else...
There is nothing else...
There is nothing else...

The silence hung thick and heavy for what seemed an eternity. Rommie, not daring to even meet Beka's eyes yet, waited for her response.

The hand on her hair was surprisingly gentle, and she leaned into the contact as it traced a path down the side of her face to cup her chin. The fingers closed on her jaw just a little too tightly and raised her to her feet peremptorily, and she met Beka's eyes with hope and adoration.

"I'm not an easy mistress, Andromeda." the blonde told her. "I'm demanding, quick to anger, and I *will* be obeyed. But I promise you that I will love you with everything I have, if you want me to."

Desperate for changing,
starving for truth...
I'm closer to where I started -
I'm chasing after you.

Rommie came to her Mistress' arms nearly crying with relief and gratitude. Beka's lips closed on hers, then, gently at first and then with increasing ardor as the kiss deepened.

She looked shyly up at Beka afterwards, unsure what response her Mistress was hoping for. For now, it seemed, the combination of ardor and innocence pleased her.

Beka grinned at her. "I was right after all - you *are* still a virgin, aren't you?"

Rommie couldn't help the blush that spread across her cheeks, and stared at the floor in embarrassment. "I was... waiting for you, I think."

That seemed to please Beka, who kissed her again. "I'm flattered, and your innocence is adorable - but I think it's time we start your training."

I'm falling even more in love with you,
letting go of all I've held onto...
I'm standing here until you make me move.
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

When Rommie woke the next morning, the pleasant ache riding her body told her right away she hadn't dreamed any of the previous night. Part of her blushed at the things she'd done and had done to her, but the greater part of her was pleased that she'd made her Mistress happy by learning so quickly.

She wasn't sure how she and Beka would explain their relationship to the crew - and she feared Dylan's reaction in particular, at least until he came to understand things - but there was no denying that she was where she wanted and needed to be.

I'm living for the only thing I know.
I'm running and I question where to go.
And I don't know what I'm tapping into,
just hanging by a moment here with you.

She couldn't help staring at her Mistress as she slept, one hand tracing lightly over the velvet choker Beka had placed around her throat last night. Not quite daring to touch her Mistress without permission yet, she settled instead for snuggling closer to her warmth and drifting back off until her Mistress woke.

Her Mistress was, indeed, as beautiful as she'd always suspected.

Beka, shifting in her sleep as if sensing the scrutiny, brushed a hand across one of the welts on Rommie's back, and the faint echo of pleasure from the night before sent Rommie back to her dreams with a smile and the happy thought that her Mistress would wake her soon.

Eyes closed, she didn't see Beka gaze at her with an indulgent, half-awake smile before returning to sleep herself...

Just hanging by a moment...
Hanging by a moment...
Hanging by a moment...
Hanging by a moment here with you...